Can't happen here Brian Hooper July 2007 Going down to the pub for a quiet pint of beer There was blood on the pavement and a siren wailing near The sound of a shot and a cry of fear This is not my idea of England. This cannot happen here, this is England Can't happen here on my step But true it must be, it's been on the BBC That it's happening here in England Then a girl came by, she was eight miles high She was wearing next to nothing and she looked me in the eye And suggested I should leave, using words I can't believe This is not my idea of England. This cannot happen here ….. Found the pub flooded out, never been known before Though the pub's been there since fifteen eighty-four The river burst its banks, then burst in the lounge bar door This is not my idea of England. This cannot happen here ….. Well we showed our Dunkirk spirit 'til the TV cameras came Then the neighbours had hysterics for their fifteen minutes' fame And I heard myself ask, have you got no shame? This is not my idea of England. This cannot happen here ….. I remember the days we had much nicer ways It seems this whole land has been somehow led astray Or is that just how it feels as your hair turns grey? This is not my idea of England. This cannot happen here …..